I meant to get my 3rd post in my picky-eating series up today but I had an email emergency. My gmail account was disabled and I thought I lost it all. But I’m happy to report it’s back on and everything is fine.

So I thought I’d leave you with a link to my guest post on Org Junkie “5 Ways to Simplify Feeding Your Children.” For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, this is a good summary of the feeding strategy I recommend. And for those new to RHE, this will introduce you to the benefits of structure at mealtimes. We hear so much about what to feed kids, we often forget that how we feed them is just as important.

My friend and colleague, Jill Castle, wrote a nice post on the benefits of declaring the Kitchen Closed. A great idea that I plan to incorporate.

Have a great weekend!

“Children can meet their nutritional needs without eating vegetables,” my nutrition professor announced to my college nutrition class. Every mom in the room gasped with relief. Of course this topic wasn’t high on my priority list at the time. But I’ll never forget the impact it had on parents – and now I understand why.

When it comes to feeding kids, it’s the parent’s job is to offer a nutritious diet. But we all know that the food we choose doesn’t always make it into the mouths of picky eaters. So what’ s a parent to do?

Have a plan!

Because it can take a while for little palates to come around, try pairing these easier-to-accept foods with other items they aren’t ready to eat (yet).

1. Offer tasty cantaloupe: Rich in both vitamin A and C, nutrients kids need on a daily basis, cantaloupe packs nutrition and a sweet taste. Have it as part of breakfast or for a snack and feel good knowing your little one is getting the same vitamin A found in green veggies.

2. Stock the pantry with ready-to-eat cereal: Picky eaters may not be eating many iron-rich foods, especially at-risk kids age 3 and younger. Finding a cereal that contains iron along with whole grains and fiber is key. One example is Cheerios which contains more than 40% of the Daily Value for iron and is a good source of fiber (try to keep sugar at 10g or less per serving).

3. Include vitamin C-rich fruits: Vitamin C increases the absorption of iron at meals. So make a habit of including strawberries, cantaloupe, orange slices and kiwi along with your kids’ meals.

4. Serve sweet potatoes: Also rich in vitamin A, sweet potatoes have a sweet flavor that many kids like. Serve sweet potato fries with a sandwich and watch your kids attack.

5. Sneak in whole grains: You child won’t be able to tell that their macaroni and cheese is made with whole grains. There are many whole grain products on the market to experiment with — whole grain waffles, crackers and pasta. Check this listing from the Whole Grains Council.

6. Provide palatable protein sources: Most children get their share of protein from milk and yogurt but it’s the nutrients in eggs, meat, fish, and beans – iron, omega-3 fatty acids and zinc – that are essential for growth. Make healthier versions of chicken tenders at home, try French toast using a DHA-rich egg, serve meatballs with toothpicks and include nutritious beans as part of a burrito or finger foods for younger children.

7. Try veggies and dip: Keep serving veggies at meals but also try them at snack time. Kids like to dip veggies like carrots, zucchini and cucumbers in tasty dips like hummus or ranch dressing. A recent study showed kids age 4 to 10 prefer crunchy veggies.

8. Offer nuts: While nuts can be a choking hazard for younger children, they make a tasty and nutritious snack for kids. Try dry roasted almond slices which are crunchy and great topped on yogurt. Most nuts are rich in vitamin E, magnesium, zinc, selenium and copper.

9. Watch out for fillers: Children getting too much juice and milk may eat less food throughout the day. Stick to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommendation to limit juice to 4-6 ounces for children 1 to 6 years old and 8-12 ounces for kids 7 to 18 years old. And to meet their calcium needs, kids aged 2 to 8 years old need 2 milk products daily and older kids need 3.

10. Consider supplements: If your child won’t eat entire food groups like fruits and veggies, talk to your pediatrician about a multivitamin.

But even if you child doesn’t need a multivitamin, they might need other supplements. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfed infants and older children drinking less than 4 cups of milk per day get 400 IU of vitamin D daily. Omega-3 fatty acids are another supplement that might make sense for children who don’t eat fish. See Kids & DHA: The Complete Guide for Parents to see if your child is getting enough.

Do you have picky eaters at home? Are you worried about their nutritional status?

For more on what to feed your kids see our Nutrition for Children section.

There’s been a lot of news recently about the growing snack habits of kids – and most of it is negative. A recent study published in Health Affairs found that snacking in U.S. children has not only increased from 1989 to 2006, but accounts for more than 27% of total calories (up to 3 snacks per day).

Now this wouldn’t be so bad if kids were snacking on a variety of food. Instead, snacks mainly consist of salty snacks, candy, desserts and sweetened beverages.

So recent news stories have added snacking to the long list of childhood obesity culprits. But I would hate to see parents make unnecessary changes because all types of snacking have been lumped into one negative stereotype.

So let’s look into what type of snacking is good for kids (and not so good).

Bad Snacking

When my daughter starting eating finger foods before turning one, I remember the afternoon snack fests. All the moms in my playgroup would bring a variety of snack foods – goldfish, crackers, pretzels and animal crackers (me too). Many of the kids would carry the little snack container and feast away. I didn’t think much about it until my daughter started to refuse dinner.

Bad snacking almost always consists mainly of “snack” type foods. While I have no problem with kids eating these foods some of the time, they fail as good snacks for two good reasons. First, they do a poor job of filling little bellies up for long. And second, they don’t help fill kids’ nutrition gaps, which is an important role of snacks.

The bad type of snacking also follows the “grazing model” of eating. This is where children get snacks in a bowl where they can just pick at it as they wish. For older children the equivalent would be letting them go freely into the pantry and picking out snacks anytime they want. (For more on this, see 5 Reasons Moms Should Rethink Food Handouts.)

Both of these snack habits, eating mainly snack-type foods and grazing, fail to help children manage their hunger. They never really fill up, and never really get hungry, so they are more likely to get more, or less, food than they need.

Good Snacking

So after making the realization with my daughter early on, I made some changes to her snack habits. Like her main meals, I began serving her snacks in her highchair. When we were on the go I tried my best to stop, sit somewhere and enjoy the food without distraction. Of course, at parties and play dates we would both graze, but that was more the exception than the rule.

So good snacking is the opposite of bad snacking. There is structure to it. That means eating at the table or some designated place. There is timing to it. Trying to get it right between meals so hunger is managed nicely. And there is nutrition to it. Make nutritious and tasty snacks that fill kids up.

In her books, Ellyn Satter calls snacks “mini-meals” which is how I’ve come to think of them. That means they consist of a couple of different food groups with a combination of protein, carbohydrates and fat. This might be whole wheat crackers and a cheese stick or apple slices with peanut butter or carrots with hummus or yogurt with almond slices. (For more on this, see Top Ten Nutritious Snack Combination for Kids.)

But other, less often times, it is goldfish, animal crackers or some snacky type of food. For example, once a week I plan my daughter’s midmorning or afternoon snack with a trip to the grocery store where she gets a free cookie (she calls it the “cookie store,” thanks Vons!).

And research suggests that more frequent eating occasions can be better for children. A recent review published in Critical Reviews in Food Science and Nutrition reveals that infrequent meals and snacks (including skipping meals) is associated with excess weight in children.

How to break bad habits

A recent article in the New York Times discussed how snacking in school-aged children has gotten out of hand. With all the activities kids have these days, parents are equipped with snack foods that can be consumed by kids in a moment’s notice. Some parents quoted in the article say they aren’t sure how to stop bad habits like the afternoon trip to the vending machine.

I think it’s important to talk to kids about their snack habits and what you plan to do about them. Tell them you want to better plan their snacks so they are timed around the main meals. Tell them you want more nutritious eating but will be sure to still include their favorites.

But more than anything, let them know that you are in charge of what is served at meal time. They may not like it at first, but once they know you are serious they will accept it.

So what are your kids’ snacking habits? Having any challenges? Are snacks away from home a major problem?

References

Piernas C, Popkin BM. Trends in snacking amount U.S. children. Health Aff. 2010 Mar-Apr;29(3):398-404.

Koletzko B, Toschke AM. Meal patterns and frequencies: do they affect body weight in children and adolescents? Crit Rev Food Sci Nutr. Feb;50(2):100-5.

My daughter and I went to her friend’s 3rd birthday party. When it was time to sing happy birthday, the kids swarmed to the table full of cupcakes. When an overweight girl asked her dad for another cupcake, he said “no, one is enough.” The girl kept pleading until she was in full meltdown mode.

Around that same time my daughter asked me for another cupcake, when all she had eaten of the first was the frosting. The mom voice in me wanted to say “you didn’t even eat the cake part, no way!” But because of all I know, I said “sure.” She took one lick and announced to me that she was “all done.”

As we were leaving, I could hear the girl still asking her dad for another cupcake while my daughter had already forgotten about them.

The question every parent needs to ask themselves is the way they feed their child effective in the long run? Let’s examine a few examples and see…

1. Being overly strict with sweet foods: I understand why the father did what he did. He’s worried that his daughter is overweight and needs to limit sweets. But while his daughter might have had only one cupcake at the party (win for Dad), she was left obsessing about the sweet treat. What is the long term implication? It’s very possible she’s going to over-eat sweets the next time she gets a chance.

According to a 2007 review study published in the Journal of Public Health, parents often use restriction to help their overweight children even though research shows it backfires and contributes to further weight gain.

Now the answer is not to give your child sweets anytime they want them. Instead of saying no to their requests, tell them they can have it at another snack or meal (example: can I have a cookie momma? I don’t have that planned for today’s snack but maybe next week). Letting them know they will have a cookie at some future date (instead of yelling “no”) teaches kids that eventually they will have a cookie and when they do they can eat until they’re satisfied. For more on this see 5 Reasons Kids and Parents Thrive on Planned Mealtimes.

2. Making them eat “this” before they can eat “that:” My daughter often has cereal with fruit for breakfast. Lately she’s been eating most of the cereal and little of the fruit. When she’s done with the cereal and asks for more my mom voice tells me to say “not until you take a few bites of your fruit.” If I did that she would eat the fruit and it would make me feel better.

But what does this feeding strategy do over the long run? Which food becomes more desirable to kids – the fruit (or vegetable in other cases) or the cereal? Studies show that asking a child eat a certain food in order to get something else makes them less likely to eat the required food when left to their own devices.

And if I know my daughter, she’ll change her eating again soon. Just a few weeks ago she ate 5 clementines and only had a couple of bites of cereal.

3. Having them take a few more bites before leaving the table: Dinner is my daughter’s – and most likely other kids’ – worst meal of the day. When my daughter barely touches her dinner my mom voice tells me to say “take a few more bites.” And when its really being pushy it adds, “and if you don’t there will be no after-dinner TV.” No doubt this strategy would help get her to eat a little more at dinner time.

But over the long run something else may happen. Instead of listening to her body, she’d learn to focus on external cues to decide when she’s done, including the okay from mom or dad. I know a lot of parents don’t consider weight a problem for their picky eaters, but we all need to remind ourselves that 6 out of 10 adults are either overweight or obese. Teaching children to listen to their hunger and fullness signals is vital for their future health.

So I ignore the mom voice (again) and look my daughter in the eye and ask her if she’s sure she’s done. I ask her if her tummy is full – reminding her to check in with herself. Some kids get distracted at meals and need to be reminded of the task at hand.

Of course other strategies like serving fruits and vegetables as appetizers and making sure kids’ afternoon snack isn’t close to dinnertime can help a great deal.

But as parents we need to challenge that little voice that tells us we can control our little one’s food intake. In fact, studies show that being too controlling or permissive when feeding children is not good for them over the long run. There’s a place in the middle and I struggle to stay there every day.

So if you don’t have a feeding strategy, maybe it’s time to get one. I stick with the division of responsibility and constantly remind myself that it’s my job to provide the food – and it’s my child’s responsibility to eat how much she wants.

You’ll be seeing more posts on managing your child’s intake of sweets in the New Year.

Like what you see? Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters

References:

Clark HR, Goyder E, Bissell P, Blank L, Peters J. How do parents’ child-feeding behavior influence child weight? Implications for childhood obesity policy. J Public Health. 2007. June;29(2):132-41.

Tanofsky-Kraff M, Haynos AF, Kottler LA, Yanovski SZ, Yanovski JA. Laboratory-based studies of eating among children and adolescents. Curr Nutr Food Sci. 2007;3(1):55-74.

Every mom is looking for kid-friendly meals to help improve their children’s eating habits.  Yet in last week’s expert interview, Ellyn Satter emphasized the importance of families eating together over what to feed.  That’s because family dinners are the place where children learn to eat.

I’ve incorporated family dinners at my house for over a year now.  Before that I would feed my daughter, put her to bed and then prepare dinner for me and my husband.  I’m exhausted just reading that last sentence.

So here are some tricks I’ve learned for making children – and parents –happy at the dinner table:

Don’t make it about them:  Focusing all the attention on children during meals teaches them to be self-centered about eating.  The goal is for kids to learn how to be a part of family meals.  That means no catering and no special meals.  They are expected to come to the table and decide for themselves how much to eat.

That doesn’t mean you don’t consider their likes, dislikes and ability to chew when deciding what to serve.  My daughter doesn’t eat much at dinnertime but there are a handful of meals I know show likes or is likely to eat (nothing is guaranteed).  So I make sure to include her favorite entrees about 2-3 times a week.  The other meals are items either my husband or I like and we eat out once a week. This way, everyone is a winner.

Make sure there’s something they’ll eat:  When I serve a new meal or something my daughter hasn’t eaten in the past, I make sure there are two things at the table that she likes.  Below is a before and after picture of a typical meal at our house.  I made lamb and lentil stew and served it with carrots (likes), bread (likes) and salad.  I make sure that the items she likes are not “special” items on her plate – they are for the whole family.   

As you can see, she ate most of the carrots, some of the bread and moved the stew around with her spoon.  I see that as progress…at least her utensils are touching the stew!

Serve dinner family style:  As children get a bit older, try letting them serve themselves.  This can really empower children and you might be surprised how much more willing they are to try new foods.  The first time my daughter tried asparagus was when I placed it on a serving dish instead of her plate.  There was such pride on her face when she grabbed it herself. 

Below is an example of a casual family style dinner I served – Rotisserie chicken (likes), strawberries (likes) and butternut squash.  I even made a meal for my littlest one from the butternut squash.  He’s coming to the dinner table early.

Learn from – and accept – dinner failures: I absolutely hate when I go to all the trouble of preparing a new meal only to find it tastes bland.  But I’m learning from those failures and realizing they are a natural part of figuring out what dinners work best for my family. 

The meals that taste good and are nutritious and easy to prepare go straight into my recipe book.  The ones that are complicated and don’t satisfy get thrown out.  Sometimes there’s a complicated meal that tastes great which makes it worth the effort, so it stays.

Because my children are young, I consider my meal-making practice for when they get a little older.  By then, I should have it mastered.  Am I fooling myself?

What are your experiences with family dinners?

Like what you see? Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters to be alerted of new posts.

Welcome to Raise Healthy Eater’s first expert interview. Ellyn Satter, MS, RD, LCSW is an internationally recognized authority on eating and feeding. Satter integrates her 40 years of experience in helping adults be more positive, organized and nurturing in caring for themselves and their children. She is also the author of several books including Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense and Your Child’s Weight: Helping without Harming.

“Not knowing how important they [parents] are,” Ellyn Satter says after being asked what she believes is biggest feeding mistake parents make. “Children have a drive to grow up to be just like their parents.”

But she doesn’t push parents to eat or prepare ultra healthy meals. Instead, she emphasizes family dinners as the holy grail of raising good eaters. “There’s too much guilt and anxiety with the virtue of meals” she says. “Parents get caught up in the what of feeding when they really need to pay attention to the how.”

Satter asks busy parents to make only one change at first: eat together as a family. So whether they’re eating fast food or frozen meals, all they need to do initially is gather at the table. On her website she has a step-by-step guide for mastering family meals. And she makes the focus pleasure, not nutrition.

So her first piece of advice: start with the foods your family enjoys and build on from there. This doesn’t mean pleasure and nutrition can’t coexist, they definitely can. But Satter points out that if the meals you prepare aren’t rewarding, they won’t seem worth the effort.

This is the perfect segue into my next question: “How can moms get their kids to eat vegetables?”

In addition to being an internationally recognized feeding expert, Satter is also a mom of three (now grown) kids. When her daughter was little she wouldn’t touch a vegetable but Satter took it in stride. When she brought the topic up with other moms she found them in hysterics about their non-vegetable-eating kids.

“Don’t let vegetables be the deal breaker,” Satter says, leading to her second piece of advice for families. “Once family meals become a habit, naturally find ways to add more variety to meals, including vegetables.”

Satter says the best way to get kids to eat vegetables, or any food for that matter, is for parents to eat it and enjoy it themselves. Of course she talks about the division of responsibility – parents decide the what, when and where of feeding and children decide the whether and how much of eating. She also explains the importance of “neutral,” repeated food exposure. The bottom line: kids do best when exposed to a variety of foods with absolutely no pressure to eat.

When Satter’s daughter hit early adolescence she took up a new hobby: devouring vegetables. She noticed everyone else in her family enjoying them and realized she was missing out. She is an avid-vegetable eater today not because her parents tricked her into eating greens, but because she got to the point where she wanted to eat them.

The next question for Satter is about sweet foods: how often should parents serve dessert? She says frequency isn’t as important as how it is served. Too often, she explains, dessert is the unspoken reward that kids’ can fixate on at mealtime.

To solve this age-old dessert problem, Satter advises parents to serve a single serving of dessert with the meal. “Some kids will save it, others will eat it first and some will eat it right along with the other food,” she says. She points out that this is the one time she deviates from the division of responsibility because she advises parents to only allow their kids a single serving of dessert.

“To avoid scarcity with sweet foods,” she adds, “Make sure there’s another time (snack time for example) when they can eat all they want of the item.”

Who eats dessert with dinner? Isn’t that crazy? Not really. What this feeding strategy shows children is that sweet foods, already palatable and easy to like, are not such a big deal. They are just part of the meal like the vegetables and meat.

If you think about the nature of nutrition and behavior you can see how her approach makes perfect sense. We live in a culture where the “shoulds” of eating are all around us. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Watch the fat. And make sure you skip the tasty dessert at after dinner.

Yet despite all of this scolding, recent studies show only about 3 percent of Americans lead a healthy lifestyle. Let’s face it, it’s human nature to rebel against what you should be doing (kind of like cleaning out the sock drawer). If parents can learn to feed in a positive way, their children will grow into adults who eat nutritious foods not because they feel obligated, but because they enjoy eating them.

“The data is clear – pressure children to eat, and they’ll lose interest in food; restrict their access to palatable foods and they’ll become preoccupied with them,” Satter explains. “Just provide a variety of foods with structure, eat with your kids and trust that they know exactly how much to eat.”

Watch for part two of my interview with Ellyn Satter, where she explains the surprising benefits of raising a competent eater.

Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters to get alerted of future expert interviews.

I spoke with a woman recently who told me that she was a skinny, picky-eating kid. Food was always an issue at her home and her concerned parent constantly brought her to the doctor (who had her take a slew of vitamins). Now, many years later, she’s battling her weight right along with her siblings.

Lately I’ve been talking to a lot of moms about picky eating. While some toddlers are more prone to being finicky, most children will go through this stage to some degree. It’s a very normal part of development. Luckily, there’s a book to help moms deal with this challenging stage of development.

Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense is the last of the Ellyn Satter books I plan to review. And it happens to be my favorite. Satter explains each stage of development as it relates to eating starting at infancy and moving through the preschool age. Unfortunately she stops at age five so moms of older children miss out.

In addition to being a dietitian, Satter is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW). Her real-life accounts of families struggling with a variety of eating problems help the reader immensely. While most of her advice comes down to the Division of Responsibility of feeding (parents decide the what, when and where of feeding and children decide the how much of eating), understanding the big picture of childhood eating will certainly enlighten any mom.

This book taught me that how I feed my kids is as important as what I feed them. While following her advice has not been easy, I’ve already seen it pay off. I have to admit there have been times when I’ve wanted to tell my daughter “come here and finish your dinner missy!” But if I did that enough, she’d learn to eat for the wrong reasons.

The downside to Child of Mine is that some of the nutrition information isn’t up-to-date because it was published in 2000. But the advice on how to feed is right on.

Have any picky-eating stories to share? We want to hear from you!

Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters (or tell a friend) for more product and book reviews.

Lately my (almost) 3 year-old has been whining for food and drink constantly. When she gets up in the morning or after a nap she asks for “milky.” When it’s mealtime she screams for “apple juice!” And lately she wants a waffle pretty much all day long.

It can seem harmless to give a child the food they ask for, especially when it’s nutritious. And for those dealing with picky eaters, the temptation to give in is even greater (they finally want to eat!). But giving children the food they want, when they want it, has real consequences every mom should know about.

Here are 5 reasons you might want to rethink those in-between-meal food handouts:

1. It crosses the division of responsibility: If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you’re familiar with Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility of feeding – parents decide the “when,” “what” and “where” of feeding and children decide the “whether” and “how much” of eating.

When your children take over what they eat, they are taking over your job. And when you restrict or overly encourage their eating, you are taking over their job. The bottom line is young children have no idea how to plan well-balance meals but they are masters at regulating their food intake.

2. They can become grazers: When a child is constantly eating all day long, they are less likely to be hungry at mealtime. This can easily translate into poor behavior and less food intake at the kitchen table. For more on planned meal and snacks see Why Children and Parents Thrive on Planned Mealtimes.

Studies show that children who eat regular meals have better diets than those who don’t. Think about it. Do you eat better when you are grabbing food here and there or when you are sitting down to regular meals?

3. Children learn to eat for reasons other than hunger: I’ve noticed that when my daughter is really bored she’ll come to me for food handouts. I simply remind her that her next meal is coming soon. And I always inform her that she can have that particular food another time.

This isn’t about forbidding certain foods (which is a bad idea), it’s about maintaining structure with eating. The goal is to keep feeding separate from emotions like boredom, frustration and sadness. This way, kids learn to deal with life’s ups and downs without using food. After all, studies show that overweight children eat in the absence of hunger more than normal weight children.

4. Kids don’t always know what they want: My daughter will often ask for one thing to eat and even yell “no” to what I serve her. Then after she realizes this is it for the meal, I see her chowing it down saying that it’s “yummy.” As children get older they will be able to choose snacks on their own, but when they are young it’s more than they can handle

Instead, I give her a say in the matter by asking her to choose between two items (like between a waffle or cereal for breakfast). This way, she feels like she has more control over what she’s eating even though I’m still in charge.

5. Liquid calories can displace other nutritious foods: Kids will often ask for drinks, like milk, juice or sweetened beverages, instead of water. A recent study published in Infant, Child, & Adolescent Nutrition describes how milk-drinking toddlers became iron deficient by over-consuming milk. While milk and juice can play important roles in the diet, too much can displace other nutritious foods and can even cause nutrition deficiencies.

It’s a good rule of thumb to encourage water as the thirst-quencher between meals (water is an always-okay food handout). On the other hand, make juice and milk a regular part of meals and snacks. Offer juice once a day and milk 2-3 times depending on their age.

Do you have to be food nazi? None of this means you need to be ultra strict about what your kids eat and when. There are times when I’ll give my daughter what she asks for especially when it’s close to snack or mealtime. When she asked for a food item more than usual, I make sure to give it to her for one of her mealtimes.

I simply discourage eating between meals and snacks which come so frequently anyhow (every 2-3 hours). My response to her requests are “you’ll get it at your snack later.” And there are always exceptions like parties and get-togethers where food is all around. I would never exclude her from trying the different items like all the other kids and adults.

I believe providing children with structure at home frees them up to do their job of listening to their hunger and fullness signals. And hopefully they’ll keep doing it for the rest of their lives.

References

Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter, MS, RD

Bond SA. Excessive cow’s milk consumption and iron deficiency in toddlers. Infant, Child and Adolescent Nutrition, Vol. 1, No. 3, 133-139 (2009)

Q: My child has been refusing to eat dinner and then begs for something else to eat 15 minutes later. What should I do?

A: Dinner can be a tough meal for children because there tends to be more grown-up food on the table. I follow the advice from Ellyn Satter’s books and consider the whole family when planning dinner instead of focusing on my picky eater. I try to prepare at least 2 meals per week that are my daughter’s favorites and do the same for my husband and me. On the nights the dinner entree is a new item or something she doesn’t typically eat, I make sure to serve at least 2 other items that she likes such as bread and fruit.

If your son goes to bed awhile after dinner consider adding a bedtime snack. That way, when he asks for food between meals you can tell him his bedtime snack is coming in a couple of hours. If you stay consistent, your son will catch on and will stop asking for food right after dinner. Eventually, he’ll start eating a wider variety of food because he knows you’re not just going to feed him his favorites.

The hardest part is accepting that some nights your little one won’t eat a balanced meal. But I believe the above strategy pays off in the long run. My daughter is finally starting to eat more of the dinners I serve after months of refusing. And by refusing I mean taking the food off her plate yelling, no, no, no! Of course, I follow the Division of Responsibility: I decide the what, when and where of feeding and she decides the whether and how much of eating.

Got a nutrition question? Send it through!

Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters for more nutrition Q&As.

Dinner is only a couple of hours away but that doesn’t stop your kids from hounding you for some food, milk or juice. You can’t remember the last time they ate. Did they snack? You’re unsure because they’ve been grazing all day long. So you give them what they want and are disappointed when they only take two bites of dinner.

Having consistent meals and snacks goes a long way towards solving family food dilemmas. Here are 5 reasons your family will benefit from having regular meals and snacks without food in between.

1. It helps parents provide variety: As the parent, you are the decision maker when it comes to what, when and where your child eats. Having regular meal and snack times better equips you to feed your child all the nutrients they need to grow and thrive.

For example, when I offer my daughter a snack between meals I know what she had for breakfast and what she’ll have for lunch and dinner. This helps me offer her an appropriate snack. If it’s bean burritos for dinner I offer her veggies and dip. If she doesn’t have dairy for lunch I serve whole wheat crackers with cheese. So instead of making decisions on the fly, I have a flexible plan to ensure I’m offering her a variety of food.

2. It helps kids regulate their hunger: Ellyn Satter, MS, RD, author of several childhood nutrition books, explains how offering children food every 2-3 hours helps regulate their hunger. Balanced snacks, better thought of as mini meals, help children get from one meal to the next without getting too hungry or being too full.

Satter says that balanced mini meals are best when they contain all three of the macronutrients: protein, carbohydrate and fat. This combination helps satisfy little ones and holds their hunger for longer periods. For example, cheese and crackers provides protein, carbs and fat as does veggies dipped in hummus. Look for an upcoming post on how to plan appropriate snacks.

3. It helps solve the “mom can I have” problem: It’s in most children’s nature to try to take over your job of what and when to eat. They will try to get the food and drinks they like whenever they can get it. The problem with this strategy is kids don’t know how to plan their meals (yet). While it’s their job to decide how much to eat of what you offer them, it’s not wise to put them in charge of mealtime choices.

Having planned meals and snacks gives you the perfect response to their requests. You can say that their next meal or snack is coming real soon. And when they request a particular food you can tell them you’ll keep that in mind for future meals. Remind them that it’s your job to decide when and where they eat and they can decide whether or not to eat it.

4. It makes dinner more enjoyable: When my daughter constantly grazes before dinner she’d rather be anywhere then the dinner table. Sometimes I let this go, especially when we go to afternoon parties or visit her grandparents. My goal is to give her a snack at least 2 hours before dinner so she shows up to the table with an appetite.

When young children come to dinner hungry, but not ravenous, they are more likely to eat at least some of what is offered. They also behave better when they aren’t starved or already full.

5. It helps fight obesity? In one of Ellyn Satter’s most recent books, Your Child’s Weight: Helping without Harming, she explains how a lack of consistent meals is a possible contributor to childhood obesity. She says parents who are more laid back with feeding, and don’t offer regular meals and snacks, bring about feelings of food insecurity in their children. So kids overeat when they have access to food because they can’t count on reliable meals. But when children are offered a variety of food at consistent and frequent intervals, they are better able to regulate their hunger and get what they need.

When you think about it, it’s hard to get full and satisfied when you graze on food vs. sitting down to a balanced meal. Having regular meals and snacks may take a lot of planning, but the pay off is well worth it.

Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters for more tips on how best to feed your family.