Nobody tells parents-to-be the commitment involved in feeding a family. Once my daughter started eating regular meals and snacks, I panicked because I realized I’d be doing this for the next 17 years. Three meals and two-to-three snacks, day in and day out.

So each week I’d tell myself I “should” get to meal planning but always put it off. I did such a poor job that I’d run back to the grocery store all week long. You see, even though I’m a dietitian I never learned how to cook for a family. Not only was I lacking confidence, I felt like I just wasn’t born with the gift of cooking.

Thankfully, I changed my attitude, got organized and now find great satisfaction in the whole process (although it’s nowhere near perfect). But nothing was going to work until I overcame my barriers.

Welcome to part I of Raise Healthy Eaters’ Meal Planning Series. Before digging into the mechanics of meal planning, take time to consider what may be holding you back from feeding your family the way you want to.

1) The time factor: In our recent survey, many parents said that time is a barrier to planning and preparing meals. Maybe you work long hours or have a high-needs child that doesn’t allow for free time. Or maybe it’s something else.

Whatever it is, dig a little deeper to see if time is really a red flag for something else. Maybe you don’t feel confident preparing meals for your family. Or maybe you’re less than thrilled with the way your dinners turn out. And if it is because of your busy schedule, stay tuned because this series will give you plenty ideas on how to make meals happen without taking a lot of time out of your day.

2) Expecting perfection: I’m not a food snob. I don’t expect parents to always use whole foods fresh from their garden. It’s a wonderful thing to work towards but if you currently rely on convenience foods, or eating out, changing overnight to making everything from scratch is not realistic.

So parents may put off making meals until they have more time to cook from scratch, instead of starting where they are now. As Ellyn Satter said in my interview with her, simply start by getting into the habit of eating together. In part 2 of this series you’ll learn easy ways to add tasty and healthy meals to your repertoire.

3) Wacky schedules: One parent works late so dinner doesn’t happen. If your kids are older they might play sports, making it hard to come home and prepare meals. Families are so busy today that dinner together can seem like an impossible feat.

Just know there are always solutions to schedule conflicts. If your husband works late, for example, see if he can come home early (and work from home if need be) one day a week and make sure the family eats together on weekends. We’ll talk more about this in part 3 of our series: Secrets to the Perfect Weekly Meal Plan.

4) Our culture: Several years ago my husband and I visited my family in Serbia. I was amazed at how my aunt and cousin cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner. I mean real, from scratch meals. In their culture, feeding yourself takes priority.

But in our culture it is acceptable to feed yourself poorly. I once talked with a woman who thought going into a store and buying a cheese stick was too much work. When I find myself complaining about going to the grocery, I remind myself that nothing is more important than feeding myself and my family well.

5) Kids won’t eat it: There’s no doubt that coming up with meals everyone likes is a major challenge. We’ll get into this later but don’t let your kid’s picky palate hold you back from making family meals.

It’s important to remember that the dinner table is where kids learn how to eat. You can’t expect them to come there already loving a variety of foods — it takes time. Sometimes changing your outlook is all that’s needed. For more on this see How to Make Dinners More Kid-Friendly.

I know there are all types of people reading this blog. Some of you are avid cooks and others are beginners. Many of you might be meal planning already while others haven’t even thought about it. But more than anything I hope we can learn from each other so we can raise children who make feeding themselves a priority.

So I leave you with one question that you can comment about or stew over. What is (or was) your biggest barrier to getting good-tasting, nutritious meals on the table?

Next: How to Uncover Easy & Healthy Family Meals

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Every mom is looking for kid-friendly meals to help improve their children’s eating habits.  Yet in last week’s expert interview, Ellyn Satter emphasized the importance of families eating together over what to feed.  That’s because family dinners are the place where children learn to eat.

I’ve incorporated family dinners at my house for over a year now.  Before that I would feed my daughter, put her to bed and then prepare dinner for me and my husband.  I’m exhausted just reading that last sentence.

So here are some tricks I’ve learned for making children – and parents –happy at the dinner table:

Don’t make it about them:  Focusing all the attention on children during meals teaches them to be self-centered about eating.  The goal is for kids to learn how to be a part of family meals.  That means no catering and no special meals.  They are expected to come to the table and decide for themselves how much to eat.

That doesn’t mean you don’t consider their likes, dislikes and ability to chew when deciding what to serve.  My daughter doesn’t eat much at dinnertime but there are a handful of meals I know show likes or is likely to eat (nothing is guaranteed).  So I make sure to include her favorite entrees about 2-3 times a week.  The other meals are items either my husband or I like and we eat out once a week. This way, everyone is a winner.

Make sure there’s something they’ll eat:  When I serve a new meal or something my daughter hasn’t eaten in the past, I make sure there are two things at the table that she likes.  Below is a before and after picture of a typical meal at our house.  I made lamb and lentil stew and served it with carrots (likes), bread (likes) and salad.  I make sure that the items she likes are not “special” items on her plate – they are for the whole family.   

As you can see, she ate most of the carrots, some of the bread and moved the stew around with her spoon.  I see that as progress…at least her utensils are touching the stew!

Serve dinner family style:  As children get a bit older, try letting them serve themselves.  This can really empower children and you might be surprised how much more willing they are to try new foods.  The first time my daughter tried asparagus was when I placed it on a serving dish instead of her plate.  There was such pride on her face when she grabbed it herself. 

Below is an example of a casual family style dinner I served – Rotisserie chicken (likes), strawberries (likes) and butternut squash.  I even made a meal for my littlest one from the butternut squash.  He’s coming to the dinner table early.

Learn from – and accept – dinner failures: I absolutely hate when I go to all the trouble of preparing a new meal only to find it tastes bland.  But I’m learning from those failures and realizing they are a natural part of figuring out what dinners work best for my family. 

The meals that taste good and are nutritious and easy to prepare go straight into my recipe book.  The ones that are complicated and don’t satisfy get thrown out.  Sometimes there’s a complicated meal that tastes great which makes it worth the effort, so it stays.

Because my children are young, I consider my meal-making practice for when they get a little older.  By then, I should have it mastered.  Am I fooling myself?

What are your experiences with family dinners?

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