This post is republished from exactly one year ago. Happy Holidays!

Thanksgiving is over and the holidays have officially begun. It’s frenzy time. And tradition tells us that this is a time when people throw caution to the wind in anticipation of New Years’ resolutions.

When you think about it, it’s really not that long until the holidays are over. I got out the calendar and counted 35 days in total. How much harm can someone do in 35 days?

With this in mind, I’m kicking off the season with my top 5 ways to avoid holiday weight gain:

1. Don’t buy into it. I think the number the holidays do on weight gain is exaggerated. A few years ago I was pitching a story to a magazine and actually looked up that 7-pound-weight-gain-during-the-holidays rumor. I was surprised to find the average weight gain from Thanksgiving to New Year’s to be just under a pound.

All this talk about over-indulging, and starting the New Year virtuous, makes overeating as contagious as the flu. In fact, a 2002 study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology found that people who anticipated going on a diet ate more than those who didn’t.

So don’t buy into it. Enjoy the traditional food that’s around during the holidays but break the tradition of overeating.

2. Don’t graze, eat meals. In his research, Brian Wansink, author of Mindless Eating, finds that the average person has already met 90% of their daily calorie needs before sitting down to their holiday meal.

How is this possible? It’s all the grazing that’s done before the meal. A little bit of this. A lot of that. More picking. A little more picking.

So instead of grazing, fill a small plate with your favorite appetizers, sit down and enjoy every bite. Remind yourself that you need just enough to hold you over (but not to spoil your appetite) until the main meal is served.

3. Be active. Exercise is your secret weapon during the holidays. It’s a stress reliever and it gives you the additional energy you’ll need.

And there really is no better time to be active. The weather is crisp and the gyms are free of crowds. I try to sign up for a walk/run in late December/early January. This way, I’m more motivated to run and use exercise as a stress reliever.

4. Practice a new way of eating. I talk a lot about eating intuitively – getting in touch with hunger cues and stopping when comfortably full. We can learn a lot from our children when it comes to eating the right the amount of food our bodies need. And there’s no better time to practice an intuitive eating style than the holidays.

So experiment with eating your favorite indulgent type foods, enjoy them without judgment and stop when you’re satisfied.  Remind yourself that you can have more later if you want, so there’s no reason to eat past fullness.

5. Cut back on the to do’s. The stress of the holidays makes matter worse. Families aren’t eating together, food is grabbed in a hurry and many parents stay up late doing more stuff.

Ask yourself if you really need to do everything this year. Maybe it’s time to cut back, be choosy about how you spend your time and focus more on enjoying the season.

Don’t forget to keep the meal planning going to keep your family on track with regular nutritious meals and snacks.

Any thoughts?  What do you do to stay balanced during the holidays?

Like what you see? Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters

References

Urbszat D, Herman CP, Polivy J. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet: effects of anticipated deprivation on food intake in restrained and unrestrained eaters. J Abnormal Psychol. 2002 May; 111(2): 396-401.

Roberts SB, Mayer J. Holiday weight gain: fact or fiction? Nutr Rev. 2000 Dec’58(12):378-9.

In the movie Eat, Pray, Love Julia Roberts, who plays journalist Elizabeth Gilbert, travels across the globe to find herself.  She sets out to discover the “word” that best describes what she stands for in life.  

Each country she visits symbolizes an important aspect of life.  Italy, her first stop, is all about enjoying food. You could say the Italian “word” for eating is “pleasure” and she joins right in, deciding she is “done with the guilt” when it comes to her favorite pastime.

In part 2 of our Managing Sweets Series, we’ll help you pinpoint your family’s unspoken “word” for eating, the beliefs it is teaching your children and whether or not your want to change it.

But first, why beliefs about food matter

How many times do you hear someone say they were “bad” because of something they ate?  Or read an advertisement for a guilt-free dessert?  How about someone who says they should order the healthy option but really don’t want to?

Most people don’t realize that the judgments they make about food, especially in regards to health and indulgence, have an impact on what and how much they eat. 

Take a recent study published in the Journal of Consumer Research.  People asked to eat food labeled as “healthy” reported more hunger than individuals asked to eat the same food described as “tasty.”  The belief that the healthy food would be less satisfying had more of an effect on physical hunger than the food itself. 

Another study published in Food Quality and Preference demonstrated how beliefs can be stronger than facts.  People chose 3 slices of bacon (109 calories) as more weight-promoting than a large raisin bran muffin (460 calories) even when the calorie content was printed out for the subjects to see. 

Rochelle, a new mom from Palo Alto, is amazed at how differently she and her Eastern European husband, Victor, view sweets. 

“In Victor’s culture it is routine to have something sweet following a well balanced meal like baklava or gelato but no one gorges on it,” she says. “It is viewed the same as the main course meaning there is no real judgment on these foods.”

She explains how his side of the family also has no phobia of alcohol or bread.  “Alcohol is not to get drunk on and bread is not something you get fat on and BOTH are expected at most meals.”

Maybe eliminating the judgments around food can help us not only enjoy eating but figure out what it is we really want to eat — and finally feel satisfied.

Take a look at Your Pre-Kid Word

Emily and her husband, who live on a farm, came from very different worlds when it came to eating sweets. 

“My brother and I always had well balanced meals, chock full of protein, veggies, fruits — sweets in moderation just kind of came with the package,” she says.  “They were never taboo, and therefore, I never felt guilty about enjoying them.”

Emily says that “her husband  grew up in a family that treated sweets as the devil, and if you didn’t gobble up the evidence quickly, it would be there staring at you in the face.”  He has learned, through his wife and children, that that sweets and other “high density foods” should be enjoyed, not devoured.

A family’s culture of eating comes directly from the parents– they set the tone.  So every parent needs to ask themselves whether or not they want to hand down their own food legacy or take steps to change it.

Colleen, a recovering dieter from Baltimore, is working on revamping her relationship with food before having kids. 

“I’m trying to accept and love my body as it is and to listen to it,” she says. “If I’m really listening to what my body wants and when it’s full, I don’t have to worry about the depriving/binging cycle.”

She explains how this is a big mental shift for her. “I have by no means gotten this down perfectly yet, but I’m so much happier (and slowly getting healthier) than when I was dieting.”

Choosing your family’s word 

Dietitians are notorious for saying all foods can fit into a balanced diet — and it’s true.  Instead of teaching kids there are good and bad foods — even healthy and unhealthy ones — they can learn that there is a time and place for all foods.  Some are served more (or less) frequently than others but all should be enjoyed. 

While there is no one right word to stand for your family’s eating one that comes to mind is balance.

Finding that balance between all foods, including sweets, gives people the best of both worlds.  Yes, there are times where eating becomes unbalanced like dietitian Jill Castle discusses in her post on Vacation Food. 

But once true balance is achieved you won’t want to stray from it for too long.  And your kids won’t either.  

Stay tuned for the next three posts in our Managing Sweets series where we’ll show you how to achieve an enjoyable balance in your family’s diet.

I’m curious, anyone feel like they have the balance-thing down?

Previous: The Real Reason Families Eat Too Many Sweets

Next: Want to Raise a Sweet-Obsessed Kid? Do These 8 Things

References

Finkelstein SR. Fishbach A. When healthy food makes you hungry. J of Consumer Research. 2010; 37.

Oakes ME. Beauty or beast: does stereotypical thinking about foods contribute to overeating?  Food Quality and Preference. 2005; 16:447-454.

Sugar and fat. 

People of all ages prefer this taste combination.  Yeah, some people like sweeter foods and others prefer salty but as I learned in my training as a dietitian, the mixture of sugar and fat is one that is particularly pleasing to the palate.

As we talked about in our picky-eating series, kids are naturally drawn to sweet foods that are energy-dense.  And in a world where these items are literally everywhere, parents are left unsure how to deal with them.

The problem goes something like this: kids fight for these foods but their parents fight back trying to keep their intake as low as possible.  Or, parents give in because they simply don’t have the energy to fight.  Either way, the issue of how to manage sweets is one many families face.

In this series we’ll dig deep into this topic of how to raise kids who have a healthy relationship with sweets – and grow up eating them in moderation.   We’ll have expert interviews, case studies and specific strategies to get you and your family on the right track.

But first, we need to get to the heart of the problem.  Not what everyone thinks is the problem, but the real problem.

The Problem – at face value

Everybody knows that Americans eat too many energy-dense foods.  According to the 2010 Dietary Guidelines Report, foods with added sugars and solid fats contribute almost 35% of calories in the typical American’s Diet.  This is true for people of all ages – children, adolescents and adults.

Yet the Dietary Guidelines recommend 10% of total calories come from what they call “discretionary calories.”  And that’s only if people meet their nutrient needs first.  Ouch.

The bottom line: Many people are consuming high quantities of foods that offer little in the way of nourishment.  These foods are not meant to make such a large contribution to the diet of younger — and older– bodies.

The problem and solution is typically defined as “these tempting foods need to be cut back or eliminated from the diet.”  But the way we go about this can make the problem much, much worse. 

Uncovering the Problem — it’s more than taste

When parents see their kids loving sweets they often get worried, especially if their kid is at a higher percentile for weight.  This fear often drives them to cut back sweets in their child’s diet in ways that are counter-productive.   

Researchers reviewed 22 studies in the 2004 issue of Obesity Research and found that that parental restriction was the only feeding strategy associated with increased eating and weight in kids.  

Take a study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition several years ago.  When offered to eat as much energy-dense foods as they wanted, girls (aged 5 to 7) of parents who restrict them from palatable foods at home were more likely to eat in the absence of hunger than the unrestricted girls.  Research also suggests that girls who eat in the absence of hunger tend to feel bad about themselves.

Studies also show that an indulgent or permissive feeding style, common in lower income homes, is associated with excess eating and higher BMI.  This is letting children eat what they want when they want and that includes plenty of energy-dense foods. 

And how about how adults feed themselves?  Many spend their time between trying to be good on a diet or healthy eating plan or eating what they want in larger quantities. Studies show most people who diet will gain their weight back plus more.

So children and adults just don’t only over-eat sweets because of taste.  The way they are fed, or feed themselves, has a major impact on whether they obsess, overeat or simply prefer energy-rich foods.  

The real problem

When I ask clients struggling with weight their biggest challenge they usually say something like “carbs,” “sweets” or “potatoes.”  They fight hard to stay away from palatable foods because they think they have to. 

This is the problem!  Deep down no one wants to give up foods that are so highly preferred by their taste buds and that includes children.  So people look for excuses to eat such foods whether it be stress, uncomfortable emotions or celebration.

No one is taught how to eat sweets in a balanced way.  In our society we see food as black or white – good/bad, healthy/unhealthy.  How many diets tell you to avoid the bad foods? How many times do you hear someone say they were “bad” or “good” due to eating?

Yeah, we hear words like “moderation” or “occasionally” but what does that mean?  Many fear that they can’t trust themselves around ice cream, cookies or a big bowl of chips.  And if they can’t trust themselves, how can they trust their children?

I believe our relationship with sweets is actually a learned behavior.  Take a look at other cultures that make less of a big deal about indulgent foods (or drinking but that’s a whole other topic).  They enjoy them without guilt and make them part of a well balanced diet.  Isn’t that what we want for our kids?

The answer to this dilemma lies somewhere in the middle of being to controlling or permissive when feeding our kids and ourselves. It’s learning to look at sweets in a whole new light. 

Like my friend and pediatric dietitian Jill Castle once told me, “You want the kid who runs by the bowl of M&Ms without even noticing it.”  Stick around for the series and I’ll help you raise a kid like that.

So tell me, what challenges does your family face when it comes to managing sweets?

References

Faith MS, Scanlon KS, Birch LL, Francis LA, Sherry B. Parent-Child feeding strategies and their relationships to child eating and weight status. Obes Res. 2004;12:1711-1722.

Fisher JO, Birch LL. Eating in the absence of hunger and overweight in girls from 5 to 7 y of age. American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. 2002;76:226-231.

Ellyn Satter Resources

Today on her show Oprah will announce that she will never diet again. Many of us who embrace a non-diet approach to healthy living are doing the happy dance. We’ve seen Oprah struggle and have been waiting for the day she would learn to eat more intuitively – and use her platform to get the message out.

The person responsible for Oprah’s “aha” moment is Geneen Roth, the author of the new bestseller, Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. Roth has gained and lost 1000 pounds in her lifetime bouncing between anorexia and obesity. When I heard of this book I rushed to the store and devoured it.

And, of course, I had to tell you all about it.

The premise
“No matter how developed you are in any other areas of your life, no matter what you say you believe, no matter how sophisticated or enlightened you think you are, how you eat says it all”

This is the crux of Roth’s message. After years of many highs and lows in both her weight and emotional state, she decided to give up the struggle with food and her body. She not only naturally fell to the right weight for her, she found her true self in the process.

Roth is not new to writing books or helping women conquer their issues with food. But for the first time the mainstream might be ready for what she has to say. Having Oprah’s endorsement is a major plus, but it helps that many women are tiring of the endless quest for the perfect weight, body and diet.

The concepts in Women Food and God, like food, take some time to digest and absorb. It’s the kind of book you want to read and then re-read. What one woman takes from it, another will completely miss. But this is what makes it such a wonderful and potentially life-changing read (and the perfect book club pick!).

The why of eating
Roth eloquently explains why there is more to overeating, weight problems and food obsessions than people think. (And if food or weight is not your issue, you can still relate what she says to almost any “obsession,” whether it be shopping, over-working, people pleasing or worrying. Men can enjoy this book too).

Obsessions about weight and food, Roth explains, take us away from our true selves:

“Compulsive eating is a way we distance ourselves from the way things are when they are not how we want them to be. I tell them that ending the obsession with food is all about the capacity to stay in the present moment. To not leave themselves.”

Of course there are differing degrees of eating for non-hunger reasons. One person may eat out of boredom or stress while another eats out of sheer dissatisfaction with life. Roth explains that when we learn to tolerate uncomfortable feelings, instead of trying to flee them, we become more in touch with our true selves. And the weight part takes care of itself:

“When you stop struggling, stop suffering, stop pushing and pulling yourself around food and your body, when you stop manipulating and controlling, when you actually relax and listen to the truth of what is there, something bigger than your fear will catch you.”

This bigger-than-your-fear is what Roth describes as God. She admits that God will mean different things to different people. Roth explains that the lessons learned from suffering, the same things we try desperately to hide from, is the gateway to love and holiness. And she believes our relationship with food can lead us there.

I often write about parents raising kids to have a healthy relationship with food by how they feed. But this book reminds me that teaching kids its okay to feel — and learn from — difficult feelings is also important.

How to eat
Towards the end of the book Roth discusses her “eating guidelines” which are not a set of strict rules but rather a very simplistic way to eat. The key is to eat with awareness and listen to your body (not your mind):

“When I first realized how simple it was to end the compulsion with food — eat what your body wants when you’re hungry, stop when you’ve had enough — I felt as if I had popped out of life as I knew it and suddenly found myself in another galaxy.”

When Roth first started eating whatever she wanted she ran to the very foods she wasn’t allowed to eat on many diets. In her sugar-induced state, she realized it wasn’t food she was looking for:

“I needed to prove to myself that what I wanted most was not forbidden, but what I didn’t understand was that I didn’t want the cookies; I wanted the way being allowed to have them made me feel: welcomed, deserving, adored.”

Roth says that when women stop listening to their minds, and start tuning into their bodies, they find it doesn’t want a bunch of cookies, cake, loaves of bread or salty foods. It wants to be nurtured with wholesome food. It wants to move. It needs sleep and self-care.

Moving away from diets and bodily perfection, ironically, make us healthier, stronger and inherently more beautiful.

I highly recommend this book to all women but realize it may not be for everyone. If you get the chance, tune into to Oprah today or record the show. Listening to Geneen Roth just might change your mind — and your life.

If you haven’t completed our survey yet please do. It takes less than a minute and I’m loving all the feedback I’m getting!

Thanksgiving is over and the holidays have officially begun.  It’s frenzy time.  And tradition tells us that this is a time when people throw caution to the wind in anticipation of New Years’ resolutions.

When you think about it, it’s really not that long until the holidays are over.  I got out the calendar and counted 35 days in total.  How much harm can someone do in 35 days?

With this in mind, I’m kicking off the season with my top 5 ways to avoid holiday weight gain:

1. Don’t buy into it.  I think the number the holidays do on weight gain is exaggerated.  A few years ago I was pitching a story to a magazine and actually looked up that 7-pound-weight-gain-during-the-holidays rumor.  I was surprised to find the average weight gain from Thanksgiving to New Year’s to be just under a pound. 
 
All this talk about over-indulging, and starting the New Year virtuous, makes overeating as contagious as the flu.  In fact, a 2002 study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology found that people who anticipated going on a diet ate more than those who didn’t. 

So don’t buy into it.  Enjoy the traditional food that’s around during the holidays but break the tradition of overeating.

2. Don’t graze, eat meals.  Brian Wansink, author of Mindless Eating, conducts super-interesting research on why people eat more than they think they do.  His research finds that the average person has already eaten 90% of their daily calorie needs before sitting down to their holiday meal.

How is this possible? It’s all the grazing that’s done before the meal.  A little bit of this.  A lot of that.  More picking.  A little more picking. 

So instead of grazing, get a small plate and pick your favorite appetizers, sit down and enjoy every bite.  Remind yourself that you need just enough to hold you over (but not to spoil your appetite) until the main meal is served.

3. Be active. There really is no better time to be active than during the holidays.  The weather is nice (well, most places) and the gyms are free of crowds.  Before kids, I always signed up for a walk/run in late December/early January.  I plan to do it this year and ask some friends to join me.  This way, I can run ahead of time, use exercise as a stress reliever, and spend some much-needed time with friends.

Use exercise to feel good all season long.  Michelle Segar says it perfectly in this article on More.com. 

4. Practice a new way of eating.  I talk a lot on this site about eating intuitively – getting in touch with hunger cues and stopping when comfortably full.  We can learn a lot from our children when it comes to eating just the right the amount of food our bodies need.  And there’s no better time to practice an intuitive eating style than the holidays because most people aren’t dieting or trying to be “good.” 

So experiment with eating your favorite indulgent type foods, enjoy them without judgment and stop when you’re satisfied.  The key is reminding yourself that you can have more later in the day, tomorrow or the following day.  The same way people tend to eat more in anticipation of a diet, they actually eat less when they know they can have more if they want to.

In the book I’m always recommended to moms, Intuitive Eating, the authors say that their clients naturally fall into a diet that’s 90% nutritious and 10% fun foods.  Maybe it’s because they no longer need an excuse (holidays, sick, vacation, stress etc) to over eat foods they enjoy.

For mindblowing research on how dieting affects weight, see Evelyn Tribole’s 411 website.

5. Cut back.  The stress of the holidays makes matter worse.  Families aren’t eating together, food is grabbed in a hurry and many parents stay up late doing more stuff.  Ask yourself if you really need to do everything this year.  Maybe it’s time to cut back, be choosy about how you spend your time and focus more on enjoying the season. 

Any thoughts?  Got additional tips about getting through the season?

Like what you see? Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters

References

Urbszat D, Herman CP, Polivy J. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we diet: effects of anticipated deprivation on food intake in restrained and unrestrained eaters. J Abnormal Psychol. 2002 May; 111(2): 396-401.

Roberts SB, Mayer J. Holiday weight gain: fact or fiction? Nutr Rev. 2000 Dec’58(12):378-9.

As a mom, you don’t have to pay a lot of money for weight management advice. In fact, the best diet coaches just happen to be the same little ones running around your house.

Here are 3 things your kids can teach you about managing your weight:

1. Eat what you need: Young children are masters at regulating their food intake by getting exactly what they need. If kids graze on snacks all afternoon, for example, you can bet that they will barely touch their dinner.

Most adults have completely lost touch with their hunger and satiety cues. If this is you, make a point to tune in to how you feel at mealtime. Ask yourself if food is really what you need when you eat out of stress or boredom. Instead, eat when you are hungry and stop when satisfied. If you keep practicing, you’ll get better and better at it.

2. Enjoy life to the fullest: Young children need to be reminded to eat because they are so enthralled with life. Unfortunately, moms have so many responsibilities that they often forget what makes them feel alive. And when this happens, food can take on greater importance.

So make time for a hobby you love, call a friend to go out or reconnect with your spouse. Get back in touch with what you love about life and watch your desire to eat diminish.

3. Make physical activity fun: If you ever watch toddlers run and giggle you know how much enjoyment little ones get from being active. In fact, they hate to sit around when they could be moving. And they’re not picky about the “where” and “how” of physical activity.

Moms, on the other hand, feel like exercise is just another thing they have to get done. Instead of thinking of exercise in this way, look for pleasurable ways to be active. For example, turn on music at home and dance with your kids, chase them at the park and take time to walk and enjoy the view. See this article for more ideas.

The same things that can irritate you about your kids — picking at their meals, reminding them to eat and being active night and day — are the same things that can help you maintain a healthy weight. Not only can you learn from your kids, but you can remind yourself that you were like this when you were a child. And it might just be time to get some of the old you back.

Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters for more mom-centered health tips.

I write a lot about how moms need to make taking care of themselves a priority. Not only to be a positive role model for their kids, but to improve the quality of their lives and help them do their job better (day job and mom job). I am one of those so called “older moms” having my last child barely under 40. And now that I have two kids I’m more challenged than ever to fit in taking-care-of-me time.

Michelle Segar, a friend and colleague of mine, will be talking to Kelley Conners on live blog radio today about self care after having a baby (see below). The first time I talked to Michelle we instantly hit it off. We had the exact same ideas on how women can achieve healthier lives – and what gets in their way. The only difference is her expertise is exercise (and psychology) and mine is nutrition.

Michelle works mostly with midlife women but even you’re not quite 40, you can definitely get something from joining the call on Thursday, September 17th at 4:30pm (7:30 EST). As moms we need to find creative ways to take care of ourselves before time slips away and it gets even harder. If anyone can help you achieve a healthier lifestyle and manage your weight, it’s Michelle Segar. Don’t miss it!

Join Kelley Connors, host of Real Women on Health! in a new series, Mid-Life Mammas, which will take place on Thursday evenings at 7:30 EST and PST. Mid-life Mammas is for women over 40 who’ve just had their first or second baby! In this first of three series, Michelle will provide her insights on how coaching works, who is most successful in achieving results and how she helps women manage their weight, sustainably. You won’t be disappointed and there is no hype with this! Michelle Segar is America’s leading expert on exercise motivation for women over 40. She is the founder of the National Center for Women and Wellness and a Psychology Researcher at the Institute for Research on Women and Gender at the University of Michigan. She has a doctorate in Psychology and master’s degrees in Health Behavior-Health Education and Kinesiology from The University of Michigan. Her coaching service, EssentialSteps®, is sought after by women and companies nationwide.
Call-in Number: (646) 929-2625

A couple of months ago I wrote about getting back into shape after the birth of my second child. I must have struck a cord with moms because this was my most popular post so far!

I guess this shouldn’t surprise me. A recent study published in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine revealed that marriage, having kids and starting work are the most challenging times for women to exercise. We all know that parenting young children is a high-demand job. But no matter how easily it would be to justify, I just can’t give up exercise. Not only does it help me cope, it gives me the strength to do this very tough job. And after counseling clients for years, I know all to well that having babies is a time when excess weight can take root and grow.

As promised, I’m sharing with you my getting-back-into-shape progress. Every few months I review to see what’s working, what isn’t working and then develop a new plan.

But first…
A lot has been made about a Time magazine article claiming that exercise doesn’t help people lose weight. I’ve been familiar with this research for some time now. Basically, studies show that while exercise prevents weight gain, when it’s incorporated without reducing calories, it does little to budge the scale.

Fortunately weight is not the reason I exercise. After years of getting in tune with myself, I know that when I eat a balanced diet, honor my appetite and fullness, and exercise at a level that satisfies me, my weight seems to take care of itself. I also remember from nursing last time that my body likes to hold onto a few extra pounds until I wean.

I have to admit, after I got weighed in at the doctor’s a few months ago I was tempted to get rid of the extra weight fast. But if I did that I would’ve grown frustrated with my progress and ended up trying a more extreme approach. Then the extreme approach would’ve backfired because it would be difficult to sustain. Then I’d be back where I started.

Okay enough rambling…now to my progress.

What’s working
My goal was to build a fitness base and add on from there. The plan was to run when possible, do a postpartum core strengthening video on most days (15 minutes) and use hand weights a few times a week.

I’ve been most consistent doing the 15-minute postpartum video. This easily fits in my day and I really like how it has three levels, each getting a little bit harder. One time saver I discovered is that my 2-year old daughter loves to do the video with me. She yells “exercise” most days to signal her desire for the DVD and she usually wants to do it twice. We giggle a lot and repeat the lines. And it’s perfect to do during my son’s morning nap.

The early morning runs have also been going pretty well. Because my son has had trouble sleeping, there have been weeks where running early didn’t happen often. For me sleep trumps everything else. If I’m not getting sleep, I’m simply not productive.

At first I ran outside my place for about 20 minutes and have gradually worked up to 30-40 minutes. It was smart not to make any commitments to run because my son’s erratic schedule wouldn’t allow for it anyway. Being able to put on my shoes at a moment’s notice and head out the door has been key.

What’s not working
The at-home strength training never really happened. After the 15-minute video my desire to lift weights is nonexistent. So instead I’ve been doing the bare minimum at a gym at my mom’s apartment complex every Saturday.

I’ve come to the realization that exercise just isn’t going to happen after putting the kids to bed. I have tried to put off the video or weights for that time but I’m too resistant. I’d rather spend that time relaxing with my husband, writing for this blog or winding down. The more I try to do after 7pm, the later I seem go to bed – and that’s no good.

The new plan
A lot in my life has changed since that last post. First off, my son is (kind of) on a schedule and sleeps most of the night. My husband took a new job and I’m working two days a week. The best part of this change is I have a regular routine which makes it easier to plan. Based on my new schedule, this is what I’ve come up with to take my exercise up a level:

My husband will go into work late on Friday so I can get up and run. I plan to get up early Saturday and run before taking the kids to my mom’s. Sunday I’m going to do a whole body workout class at the gym (yeah!) down the street. Monday and Tuesdays are tough. I’m in negotiations with my mother-in-law to see if she can come over early one of those days so I can either take a spin class or run. I work Wednesdays and Thursdays. Eventually I might try to do something on my lunch (half-hour) when it cools down but for now I’ll just walk around as much as I can.

I’m going to discontinue the postpartum tape and move onto newer (and harder) Pilates/Yoga videos during my son’s early nap with my daughter on Monday, Tuesday and Fridays. I’ll move it up 5 minutes to a total of 20 minutes.

I want to join a running group but will hold off for now. I think I have enough on my plate!

So have I seen any results? I feel better and have more endurance running. My core feels stronger. And I finally weighed myself last week and found my weight down almost 7 pounds since that day 3 and ½ months ago. I’m not sure if it’s because of the exercise or just my body’s way of getting back to normal after the pregnancy.

Well that’s it for now. What do you do to stay in shape? Share your secrets with other moms. We need all the help and support we can get.

For more on this subject see Michelle Segar’s Habits of Highly Effective Exercisers on More.com

Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters for more mom-centered health tips.

Tuesday morning I went to the DMV to renew an expired license. While inching my way through the hour-long line it dawned on me that I might have to take a new license picture. The panic set in because I didn’t have a stitch of makeup on. When I made it to the front I was informed of the bad news.

I immediately made a b-line to the bathroom to apply some lipstick and mess with my hair. After my number was called (yes, more waiting) I was second in line to another woman. After her picture was taken the DMV employee looked at the screen and said, “Do you EVER take a bad picture?” When she took my picture she made a point to tell me to smile. After glancing at it she said, “Everyone looks better with a smile.”

I was mad at myself. Not because I’ll have to hide my license from everyone I know but because I’m still doing this stuff – putting off important tasks and basically being disorganized. It got me thinking about something I always come back to: Do I want my kids to follow in my footsteps? When they are adults will they be at the DMV renewing an expired license? Or worse?

What’s your weakness?
Last week I wrote about guilt-free ways to become a more positive food role model. If you struggle with eating well, managing your weight or preparing food you may feel the same way I felt after leaving the DMV. You don’t want your kids to acquire the same struggles but how do you change?

I feel like we spend so much of our lives tripping over our weaknesses, that we delay getting to the juicy part of living. It seems every time I’m almost there something holds me back, like wasting time at the DMV, losing my keys or searching the house for that important document.

Oprah talks about this all the time. It’s about stepping outside of yourself, thinking about what you really want and breaking the cycle.

A different outlook
When I stop beating myself up for a moment I realize that I’ve already made some changes. I sort of have a file system at home and do know where some things are. And compared to 10 years ago, I’m much better (I have a good story about my car getting impounded).

I know that guilting myself into making a temporary change won’t work so I remind myself to change my outlook instead. I acknowledge how more smoothly my daily life is when I’m organized and take the time to do time-consuming tasks. And I believe my family benefits as well.

So instead of “shoulding” yourself to change consider looking at the problem from a different angle. What are the benefits of changing? If you’ve been a chronic dieter how will you feel to finally be free of the constraints? If you don’t know how to cook think how gratifying it will be to prepare and enjoy meals for your family.

Whatever it is you’ve been struggling with find some reasons you want to conquer it – and decide those reasons for yourself and not because it’s something your doctor, spouse or even I want you to do.

How to change
Of course part of the problem with change is wanting for it to happen overnight. The old me would’ve run home from the DMV, gone through the mail, bought fancy organizing equipment and vowed never to do something like this again. But then 2 weeks later the mail would be piled up and I’d be back at square one.

I recently attended a class that reminded me of the most effective way to change. It’s called “continuous improvement” and it’s not about making a dramatic change. Instead, it’s about doing small, everyday things that eventually lead to big results. But the key is to make the changes consistently, not chaotically. The secret is to always be on the lookout for the little things you can do to get to your goal.

So, I’m looking for pockets of time at home to put away stuff and go through the mail. I even bought a (cheap) organizer to write important dates down. And every time I look at my license I’ll be reminded of the consequences of living a disorganized life.

This site will help you make small changes in the area of food, weight management and nutrition. If there’s something you need from me, or would like to see, let me know. From my experience, conquering lifelong problems is extremely liberating. And knowing your kids have escaped from the same struggle is the best reward.

Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters to get more articles on how to take better care of yourself.

Most parents know that when it comes to healthy eating habits, they act as role models for their children. But the messages targeted to parents are usually doused in guilt – “you had better eat healthy – your kids are watching you!”

The last thing any parent needs is more guilt. And furthermore, guilt does a poor job of motivating, inspiring and changing behavior for the long term. As a matter of fact, it’s pretty useless.

So drop the guilt and consider a different way of looking at – and becoming – a more positive role model for your kids.

Take a walk down memory lane: I’m always surprised when my overweight clients don’t understand the real reasons they overeat. After some digging, I usually find their childhood to be a contributing factor. After all, most food learning occurs the first 5 years of life.

So think about how your relationship with food came about. How and what did your parents feed you? Were they controlling or permissive or something in between? Did they make you clean your plate? Did they make eating vegetables seem like punishment and eating sweets the best reward? Did they overly restrict sweets or fatty foods? And if you were overweight, did they try to encourage to diet and eat less?

These questions are important because the answers give you insight into what has shaped your relationship with food. Even though you’re leading your children down a different path, if you continue to struggle with food or weight, they will catch on.

The best way to conquer your issues is to understand where they came from, let go of them and begin a new way of looking at food.

2. See food through the eyes of a child: While changing your outlook you’ll want to take lessons from young children. Babies are born a clean slate – they don’t have food baggage. They eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. They don’t see food as good or bad unless they are told or shown it is good or bad. If they snack before dinner they won’t eat dinner (what adult does that?). They are masters at regulating food without counting calories or reminding themselves what they “should” eat.

So don’t diet or “should” yourself into eating healthy. Instead, dust off those hunger and satiety signals that you were born with and start listening to them again. Ask yourself if you’re really hungry before eating and when you do eat stop when your body tells you you’re satisfied and comfortably full.

3. Make feeding yourself a priority: When my daughter started solids I put all my energy into what she ate. Then one day, while picking at her tasty spinach and mushroom omelet, I realized what was going on. I was making feeding her a priority over feeding myself (and my husband – I always seem to forget about him). Before she was born, I’d buy the minimum amount of groceries, rotate the same 4 meals and rarely experimented with new foods.

I knew that a new, fierce love was behind my motivation to provide my daughter with tasty and nutritious food. So I used that love as a catalyst to take better care of myself.

So use love, not guilt, as motivation to take care of you. If you feed yourself well, taking the time to prepare plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole grains, then your child will grow up to be someone who makes feeding herself a priority.

4. Don’t try to be perfect: A friend was just telling me how her parents kept sweets and candy out of the house. She said that she and her siblings would take their weekly allowance and go buy sweets and candy. Her parents provided plenty of healthy food but forgot how to teach their kids how to eat the not-so-healthy foods.

Eating is not just about nutrition it’s also about enjoyment. Some foods provide pleasure without much nutrition. So show your children that you can enjoy items like ice cream, sweets and fried foods without guilt trips or overeating. And if you can’t do that quite yet, take some time to work on why you can’t. One of the books I recommend to help you come to peace with food is Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works

This takes away the pressure of eating perfectly for your children. They need a role model for how to eat all types of foods so when they are on their own someday they can eat with confidence.

The gift of health

Instead of scrutinizing yourself for missing the mark, remember that you’ve been given a gift. Your children are here to teach you how to be better – and that includes eating well and being active. By working to prevent them from creating bad habits, you end up saving yourself in the process.

Subscribe to Raise Healthy Eaters to get more tips on how to be a better role model for your kids.